I Am.

To the person who once told me that women who do not have children are Less Than those who do:

It was years ago - I wasn't even married, then. I didn't want children at the time. But I clearly remember you, a mother to three young girls yourself - saying to me, "Christy, I've always believed that people who choose not to have children just don't know how to give of themselves the way parents do. Being a mother is the most important thing a woman can do with her life." On the surface, you weren't  attacking infertile women. You would say you weren't even attacking the childfree-by-choice. It's just my observation, you said.

A little part of me (plus nearly all of my respect for you) died that day. And as I've evolved as a person - as a woman - I've never forgotten what you said that day. I went from being a child-free single woman to a woman engaged to a man who wanted children more than I did. I agreed that we would have children when the time was right, and over the course of four years of marriage I saw the love between S and me grow in ways I never expected. And over those four years I started out reluctant to have kids, then became game to have kids, then eager, then anxious, then frustrated and furious at my body's betrayal of me, then distracted from it, then angry again, and finally, now, am feeling the first dawning of a true peace within. But I have never forgotten your thoughtless words.

Make no mistake - if you said it was the most important thing in your life, I would have had no qualms. I would never object to a mother putting her love for her children above everything else in her life - that's your joy, that's your choice. That's your life. I still want to be a mother, so I hope it's my joy soon, too. The fact of the matter is, I may never be a mother. But I will never, ever be Less Than you.